i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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