can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
