remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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