Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
