Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
