Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
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She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
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It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
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