32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
