help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
