i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
