that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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