when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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