I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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