So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
