nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Randomize
