please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Randomize
