I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
