bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
