i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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