you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
