I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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