as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
