you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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