honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
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