I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
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