WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
