OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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