so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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