needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
