if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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