My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
