@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
