make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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