i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
