I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
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Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
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my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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