I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Randomize
