so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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