Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
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