Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
