apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
