mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
smell my finger.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
