I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
