Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
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