Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize