I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
