I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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