get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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