So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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