that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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