Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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