i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I am mentally ready for anal.
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