I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
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