Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
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What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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