Someone shit on the floor
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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